Okay so just realized that I haven’t been shopping in THE LONGEST TIME EVER. My wardrobe is seriously outdated and not really what I want my style to be like. I feel like I used to have a preppy, classy look but I’m totally digging the retro, chill, hipster look right now. So this month, I’m going to go shopping and hopefully get some new clothing items. Here are some things I definitely want to add to my closet.
1. oversized corduroy jacket
These are super cute and have such a nice vibe if that makes sense. I also need more cute jackets and outerwear since, even though it’s spring, the weather is still pretty chilly. A corduroy jacket is a cute alternative to the more basic denim jacket.
2. vintage jeans
I need some new jeans. Some comfortable thrifted jeans are definetly on my wishlist since I’m trying to go for a more “hipster” vibe. All of my jeans are really tight and polished so I want to change them up with faded, looser jeans.
3. bright windbreaker
Because of the warmish spring weather, a cute windbreaker is definitely on my wishlist. To spice it up, one with bright colors would be super rad to rock over a plain top and leggings
4. collared shirts
Okay even though I said I would be moving away from the preppy look, I still love collared shirts because they are so classy and versatile. They would great under a comfy sweater, out on top of white jeans, and even this awesome cropped one over a skirt or shorts.
5. vintage tees
Now that summer is approaching, it’s time for tee shirts. I’m super excited to go to a thrift shop and see what crazy, vintage stuff I find.
That’s it for my fashion wish list! Le me know what things you want to add to YOUR wish list in the comments below!
Last weekend I went to Velocity Dance Convention, which almost made me want to quit dance. Wait let me slow down for a second, a dance convention is where you take classes by master teachers the whole weekend. They are supposed to be a fun learning experience, where you can learn other styles you aren’t used to and take from amazing choreographers. But there is one part of the convention that isn’t so fun: the audition. Most conventions, including Velocity have an audition. You learn a combination and perform it in small groups in front of some teachers. If you do well, you get a callback and are usually awarded a scholarship to their convention next year.
I’ve never gotten a scholarship before, but received a callback last year. I went into this year excited, hoping i would be able to get another callback and get a scholarship. There was extra pressure since our teacher said that who ever got a scholarship would also be awarded a solo at our studio next year for competition. With those stakes raised, everyone was extra nervous. Including me. I worked so hard in every class and when the audition came, I was the most focused I’ve ever been, listening to every word the teacher said, practicing on the side. I was confident and thought I did well when it came to the audition, feeling like the teachers were looking at me. I stood proudly as they began to call out the numbers for callbacks. They started talking, number 103, 106, 109, 120, 132.. I spaced out for a second and before I knew it I heard 267, a girl from my studio’s number. I looked down at my number 265. I will never truly know if they called my number or not, but I am pretty sure they did not.
Flash forward to the presentation of scholarships. That girl who got a callback got a scholarship. One of my best friends got a ballet evolving artists scholarship, which made me confused and upset since I worked so hard in ballet and thought it was my strongest style. Some of my younger friends who I knew didn’t work as hard or put in as much time as me got scholarships. I walked to the car with my mom and once we were inside, I let it all out. the anger, pain, and disappointment.
I cried the whole car ride back and didn’t stop until I laid in my bed for an hour sobbing.
I felt like a loser, not good enough. Even though I tried my best I got nothing. Was it worth all the normal life experiences I’ve missed, all the sweat and pain and injuries? Was dance worth it when I couldn’t even get a scholarship?
I woke up the next day with a sprained back. Because of this injury I couldn’t go to dance and had time to reflect. And I realized 3 things: 1. I really wanted to go back to dance. I missed it. I realized that I loved dance. 2. I also realized that this scholarship was just an opinion. those teachers didn’t know the hard work I was constantly put in, the countless problems I had that I had to overcome. they only had a brief look at me which was not enough to judge my dancing ability and work ethic. The scholarships really were just an opinion. 3. I also realized I needed to work hard and show my teachers that even though I didn’t get a scholarship, I’m still a great dancer and can still be better than some of the scholarship winners. I need to keep working hard because eventually someone will notice me, through an audition or elsewhere.
Once I recover from my injury I’m going to get back on my feet and show that even though I didn’t get a scholarship I can still be the best dancer that I can be and show perseverance. Maybe it’s time to cut down on dance since I will never be able to become a professional but I love it. And I always will.
Well that was a long rant/storytime but thanks for reading! Also, since it’s spring break, expect another post or two coming your way!!
It’s californiangirl back with a new post! Today I wanted to share with you’ll my updated body/skin routine, aka some of my favorite skin care products and how to use them. I have medium oily, combination skin, that doesn’t break out too often but can sometimes. Here is my daily body and skin routine!
FOR THE FACE
1. grapefruit oil free acne wash by neturogena
I love this face wash because it first of all smells delicious and wakes me up, and two it is really refreshing and helps tone down my oily skin and prevent breakouts!
2. cetaphil moisturizer
Next thing you gotta do is moisturize. My favorite one is the cetaphil moisturizer because it is super-duper light but also moisturizing. I don’t like the moisturizers that are super heavy for my oily skin so this one is perfect for my skin and keeping me moisturized
3. mario badescu facial spray
This is my favorite facial spray of all times and it keeps me and my skin refreshed! I think I’ve mentioned this before on my blog showing how much I love and appreciate this product.
4. ocean salt facial and body scrub/mask
Once a week I will use the product Ocean Salt from Lush to exfoliate my skin. This product is kind of rough on my face so I can only use it once a week. It kind of stings for me since I have sensitive skin but it really helps exfoliate and smells good too. I also do a mask once a week. There is this charcoal mask I’ve been loving from Organik Botanik, (you can pick this up from Marshalls/TJ Max) and I also love cupcake from Lush.
FOR THE BODY
Now onto what I use for my body! I have a bit of bacne (Back Acne) but have pretty “normal” skin. These are the products I use to keep my body moisturized and feelin nice.
1. soap and glory body wash
OMG I love this body wash so so so much! It smells delicious and also is super moisturizing. Afterwards I sometimes don’t even use a body moisturizer since it has a built in lotion and makes my skin so soft!
*Quick Tip: for my bacne, I put this on a loofah and make large suds as well as exfoliate my back with it!*
2. rose jam shower gel
Another one of my favorite body washes that I am currently using quite a bit is Rose Jam from Lush, which smells absolutely delectable, like honey and roses. This is a bit pricey, but totally worth it in my opinion. Also it is a thick texture, a little goes a long way when using it.
3. Ro’s Argan Body Conditioner
Also from Lush and sharing the same scent of Rose Jam, this is something a little bit different. It’s a body conditioner, used the same way as a hair conditioner but on your body. Put a thin layer all over your body, then gently rinse off. I use this with Rose Jam as a special treat as it leaves me not only smelling amazing but also my skin silky smooth.
4. aloe vera
If my skin is feeling nasty and dry (i.e.: I’m sunburnt) I love using Aloe Vera gel to heal it. This feels really cooling and great for creating more refreshed skin.
5. soap and glory body lotionSharing the same scent as its body wash counterpart, this lotion is so moisturizing and absolutely amazing! I love it so much and use after my shower for smoothing my skin!
And that’s my skincare routine! I hope you enjoyed this post and please let me know in the comments what skincare products you’ve been digging this month!
Happy March! Today is March 4, and I’m going to start a new section of my blog, my playlists for each month, all the songs I’ve been jammin’ to recently and that maybe you’ll enjoy too. I know a ton of YouTubers do this as well as they drive around and whatever so I decided to give it a try. So let’s just get into the playlist!
On spotify, recently I have started to make playlists for each month. This month is “march moves n grooves.” I really like doing this because it can show the development in your music taste and what you have been enjoying recently. A lot of these songs are from February playlist “february fun times” since the month has just started and I usually add songs throughout the month. I guess this is technically not my “march playlist” and more of my march+february+whateverelseI’mlisteningto playlist
Breathe Me by Sia
I love this song a lot at this moment, we were warming up to this during dance and OMG it was my jam. This song makes me feel like a rock star which you might not get when you listen to the beginning but there are some parts have these drums in the back and they are my jam.https://open.spotify.com/track/7jqzZyJJLrpkRFYGpkqSK6
COPYCAT by Billie Ellish, Sofi Turkker remix
Ya girl has just jumped on the Billie Ellish train. I’ve heard about her and her amazing music for a long time but just started listening. This is kind of a darker song of hers and this remix is my favorite. At first I just accidentally clicked on this remix trying to find the original song but I really dig it.https://open.spotify.com/track/2njUxZ4151DWIrfIK3loFj
Clumsy by Fergie
This song is throwing it back to the early 2000s and has a nice techno vibe and a cute little bop (that probably made no sense lol). This song is also a vine which makes it even better, but I actually really like this song.https://open.spotify.com/track/50xeLNGKmskmYUSINhqvfa
watch by Billie Ellish
Another one of Billie Ellish’s songs on my list. This is the first B. E. song that I’ve ever listened too and what made me fall in love with her music. This song just makes me want to dance. And not like jam in the car dance, but like DANCE in an empty room, by myself and just move. I definitely recommend you listen to this, it’s one of my favorites on this playlist.https://open.spotify.com/track/7eB1V5LvAdxCc7brfGhRRo
Obsession by Vice ft Jon BellionThis song makes me happy. Like really happy. This is one of those songs you can jam to in your car, bopping your head and waving your arms. And it’s impossible to listen to this song without smiling. Such an unlifting song that has a unique vibe.https://open.spotify.com/track/5pvVAwQbuFoR7LkcicrKnk
ur phone by boy pablo
I found this song through emma chamberlain (oh btw shes such a queen please watch her vlogs!!). To be honest i feel like Emma’s taste in music usually does not line up with mine, but I actually like this song. It just makes me feel like I’m on a road trip and just driving by myself somewhere in the middle of nowhere passing by golden fields of weeds and cows. I don’t know, just a thought. https://open.spotify.com/track/1sdW5wGFuUB0A93EN7BhaL
Prune, You Talk Funny by Gus Dapperton
This song makes me feel like such a hipster. Like actually. It’s like I’m in one of those grainy movies and in one of those driving scenes, peacefully just chillin on the road by myself. (idk why, but a lot of songs remind me of road trips.) This song also has an old fashion vibrant vibe which I totally love! https://open.spotify.com/track/4a6r6d9mfcUQbOnrGf8jAV
Thank you so much for reading and I hope you enjoyed this post! Comment down below what your favorite songs are at the moment because I need to add more songs to my march playlist!
Hi, it’s been a while since we’ve caught up! Last weekend was the first competition of the competitive season at my dance studio, KAR dance competition. In the past, we have competed there and often done pretty well. Here’s last years post about this competition if you want to see how my experience was like in the previous season. This year was also a pretty crazy season, with the most pieces competed before from our studio, someone getting kicked off team (and me having to step in to their place), duets and trios, and a new image for our studio under a new artistic director. There is a lot riding on this season and since we did well in the past at KAR, we were excited for this competition. However, strong studios and talented dancers made this our hardest and most eye opening competition ever.
Out of the four dances I competed in, saturday had three of them in it, my pointe duet, lyrical trio, and contemporary small group piece. I had to get up bright and early (6:00AM) to show up at the studio for a full ballet warm up. We did a run through of the pieces and then got ready to leave for the competition. At the venue, my teachers talked to the directors to change the order of go since I only had ten minutes in between my duet and trio, and trio was first, and my teachers thought I would be more comfortable doing pointe work before. I was nervous since it was my first time performing a duet or trio in a competitive setting, would the judges like my pieces, would I mess up?
I got into my satin pointe shoes, and white delicate ballet costume and began warming up. I was really nervous at that point(e) (haha get it<- ) (okay I’ll stop) and started to doubt all the training and effort I had already put in. Our number was called and before I knew it I was called on stage. It wasn’t the best run. I was really tense and while getting all the steps right, I didn’t feel like I enjoyed the dance. To be honest, I just wanted to get through it without falling or messing up. I don’t think i did bad, but it wasn’t the most artistic performance I could have done.
Next I got changed for trio really fast and when that happened, I found out my costume was too big! My skirt, which was supposed to fit right over my belly button, slip down to my hips! My teacher frantically tried to figure something out until she decided to just screw it and I went out to dance. This felt like a good run. After a girl got kicked off of team in december, I was set to be put in her place. It was a last minute change and our teacher put in the least amount of hours to our piece, just hoping things would work out. Our performance wasn’t perfect, far from it, but all three of us did our best and all we were given and I felt powerful afterwards, floating above the stage as I finished and walked off.
Now it was awards. The duet and trio were competing against each other which meant I was technically competing against myself. We were also competing against a contemporary duet from our studio with the two favorites and the strongest dancers in our age group. After the excitement died down and overalls began being announced. Our teacher whispered to us, “Girls let’s go, you did not place, I know your scores were not high enough.” All three sets of the duet trios looked at each other in surprise and disappointment, we thought at least one of us would place and this was a shock. It see worked so hard and got nothing. We walked off stage quietly with our teacher, probably looking like terrible sports and went backstage. I prayed something weird would happen and one of us actually would place, but it never happen. Sometimes your best isn’t good enough, I remembered my ballet teacher telling me earlier. I heard those words repeated in my head and sighed, there’s a big world out there with so many amazing people.
After that disappointing morning, I changed into my next costume, a Hamilton-esque costume. Our dance is to the song Run Boy Run, and about breaking free from society. We are wearing red-coat like costumes and I have to say, I think it looks sick and really different from the classic lyrical and sassy jazz competition judges are used to seeing. We ate lunch and got ready to to onstage. I took a breath and got ready to perform. I felt grounded and let go of expectations and the stress. It was my third performance so I didn’t have the nervousness and the fear, I just wanted to dance.
Afterwards, it felt so good. I felt refreshed and happy. Awards came along and we didn’t expect much after the awards this morning. Then, our name was called! Fourth Overall! And a judges choice award for fierceness! Proud, and satisfied I went home, after watching some amazing soloists, getting inspired by the raw talent and hard work I could see. The cool thing about dance is even though it’s only a couple minutes of a performance, you can see the detail and hard work that went into it if you look closely enough. That’s what i love about watching dance, you can see the effortlessness on stage, but also all the hours spent in the studio, conjoined into a brilliant show. I went home and got ready for the next day, I would only be in one piece which meant a more relaxing, calmer day.
I woke up early-ish, around 8:30 which doesn’t seem that early I guess to some, but it’s a sight to see me up before 9 on weekends. I did my make up and went to the studio to get my hair braided and done for the performance I had today. The teacher was being extra hard on all of us. After seeing the competition, I could tell she was nervous and stressed that we wouldn’t be able to place again like the duets and trios the previous morning. I too was a little worried and I could sense the energy around me was similar.
We got to the competition and went to the corner where we kept our stuff in the dressing room yesterday. Some moms from our studio were their since when doors opened up at eight so we got the tiny corner for ourselves. All of a sudden one of the other teams racks fell down. It thudded to the floor, sparkly costumes falling to the ground. A mom from that team glared at us, “You’re breaking our stuff.” We were taken back, we hadn’t touched the rack or expected such aggressiveness from a mom. But we knew better than to talk back, we all mumbled sorrys but it wasn’t enough. “You know you can’t save spots. Our team was here first.” This was the first time a fight, even one as small as this happened at a dance competition. we bit back our tongues even though we want dot yell back that we’ve been here all morning. That we were taking up about 1/8 of what your studio is taking up. That she shouldn’t pick on kids like us. But we were silent and luckily were moved to a roomy dressing room, just for us!
We changed into matching tee shirts and jeans. Our dance, to the song Castle on the Hill, is about coming home. As a play on words, our teacher thought of homecoming, and put us all in street clothes and varsity jackets. The jackets don’t come on until the last half when we all unite. This dance is a large group so it’s a bigger dance than the ones before. Since there are more people it’s easier to hid if you make a mistake so i wasn’t as scared as before my duet. But, I still knew I had to try my best and when i stepped onto the stage, I put away all the anxiety and tiredness and transformed into a preppy girl, returning home and having fun. It was a good run, but the other dances in our category were amazing. We were not allowed to watch, as it would make us nervous, but I could hear the cheering in the audience from backstage, and heard the team before us had a huge trampoline where they would jump and flip off of. Other dances had girls who could turn over four pirouettes consistently and in sync with each other.
Awards. We weren’t expected much again and as they announced the places, we saw that many strong teams have already been called up. All of us assumed we didn’t place and sat there sadly. 5th Place. Our hopes went up. Not us. 4th Place. Our hopes went up. Not us. 3rd Place. Our hopes went up. Not–Wait, that is us! That was probably the loudest I screamed and we all ran up hugging the trophy thinking this was too good to be true. Third place in such a hard division in category was pretty unbelievable!
The weekend came to an end and I think I learned a lot. I learned that there is a big world out there and you will never be the best. I learned that sometimes you just need to breathe and relax. I learned to come with low expectations and go from there. But finally, I learned to have hope and faith in yourself. That the hours you put in will eventually be recognized. I have another competition next week and I’m so excited for it and hope that my next performances will be better than before.
This post is approximately three weeks over due but… This winter break my family and I went to the Hawaiian islands, a set of tropical islands floating in the Pacific Ocean, about a five-hour flight away from SF, California! Because of its proximity to the equator and being surrounded by the ocean, Hawaii is a beautiful, warm paradise. I’m going to share my week on this beautiful island, documenting my amazing adventures, from clear blue waters, to tropical jungle, to live flowing lava, this was such a productive and fun trip to Hawaii’s big island!
we arrive in Hawaii (the island of Hawaii-or Big Island) at the Kona Airport. after picking up our rental car, we see that the island isn’t very lush or green, filled with lava rock barren landscapes. Unfazed by the extra terrestrial like landscape, we set out on our one week adventure with hope and happiness.
we stop for some Poke, a raw fish salad usually with rice and other sides served as an appetizer or main dish in Hawaiian cuisine.
We drive up the northern tip of the island seeing it get greener as we drive up, finally we reach the beautiful Waipio Valley. The view from the outlook is stunning.
finally we check into our bed and breakfast hotel on the east coast of Hawaii, a cozy place to stay that also provided homemade breakfast and a nice pool right in front of the ocean.
started the morning off by visiting the beautiful Akaka Falls. After a short, lush hike filled with exotic plants and mini waterfalls, we reach our destination, the grand Akaka falls!
Next, we stopped by to the Hawaii Tropical Gardens, full of blooming orchids and stunning ferns, perfect in structure.
Afterwards we drove up the shaky road to Mauna Kea, the highest mountain from base to peak in the world to see, I’m not kidding, a mountain of snow, and a gorgeous sunset view. Now I can say that I’ve seen snow, in Hawaii.
After being SHOOK from the snow, we had to turn back from the mountain because our engine gave out from our rental Jeep and we returned a little bit lower and watched the sunset. It was gorgeous.
A nice relaxing morning, spent at a local farmers market filled with fresh fruit like flavorful apple bananas, fresh and vibrant rambutan, and delicious Hawaiian street food.
In the late afternoon the real adventure began, a forty minute bike ride and hour hike to see live flowing lava. I wasn’t sure what to expect, but all I could say was my expectations were fulfilled and exceeded. One the way their, lava rocks like these were beneath our feet, swirly and outer space like
Finally, heat began to seep underneath our feet and the glow of lava became visible in the distance. Even though we were tired from the long bike ride and intense walk, we hiked up more lava rocks and eventually reached the beautiful lava, flowing right underneath our feet. This was definitely a highlight of this trip and a once in a lifetime experience.
We spent the day in Hawaii Volcanoes National park. To be honest, not much of a national park gal, and was not looking forward to this part of the trip, but was actually an interesting experience. I definitely preferred the lava flow hike than this park, but it was pretty cool to hike to the bottom of a crater, walk through a tunnel made by lava, and drive to the free ocean.
Then, we drove to the west side of the island, the Kona-Kailua side filled with resorts and beaches!
We woke up bright and early in the beautiful city of Kona, bustling with tourists and activities, we drove out of the city and down to the southern most point of the USA, south point, and the beautiful green sand beach. Yes Green Sand. Hawaii island is home to one of the only four green sand beaches in the world. After the hot windy hike (yes it was long, boring), we reached the most beautiful beach, with blue blue waters and green sand!
On the way back, it was getting hot so we hitched a ride with the many locals driving trucks to and from. It was definitely a bumpy ride but also a fun experience, the beautiful scenery on both sides of us as we rumbled along the nonexistent road.
Coming back home, we watched the sunset (and accidentally stepped on spiking sea urchins) at Kahul’ulu Beach. PSA: it hurts when you step on sea urchins! wear water shoes when exploring tide pools!
On day 6, we visited some of the most beautiful beaches in the world. First, we took a snorkel tour where we went on a boat and then sailed to a big reef. We water slid off the boat and began swimming. Fun fact: I am scared of fish which sounds dumb but its a real fear! I just am afraid of their slimy fins and little mouths. However, the fish were far away from me, more deep down in the reef, so I admired them from a distance. Another fun fact: my parents do not know how to swim, so even with three pool noodles, a snorkel, and a life jacket each, they struggled in the water, and even being in the ocean for ten minutes, got scared and had to swim back.
We then went back to the hotel and relaxed for a bit. Then, we drove up the coast and stopped by Manini’owali beach (Kua Bay) which I have to say was the most gorgeous beach I’ve ever seen. Clear waters, soft soft sand, rocky parts too made perfect for adventuring and exploring. The only thing was, this beach was pretty crowded.
Next we drove to Hapuna beach, a bigger and very popular beach, similar to Manini’owali, but, in my opinion, not as good. Still absolutely gorgeous and so fun to run into the clear waves. We kept driving up the coast and made a beautiful little valley right before the sky got dark, stopping for creamy macadamia nut ice cream on the way there, and seafood on the way back.
It was our last night in Hawaii.
This day was more relaxing, we spent the morning paddleboarding at our hotel’s beach, ate a delicious poke lunch and got ready to say bye to the big island.
First we made a stop at Pu’uhonua O Honaunau National Historical Park oh the way back from the airport, and were greeted at the beach by sea turtles basking in the sun and swimming in the waters!
This was so cool since I LOVE SEA TURTLES THEY ARE SOSOSO CUTE, and I could see them up close (but not too up close, since law prevents people from going more than 10 feet from them.
Finally, it was time to leave, and now, reflecting on the memories, I wish I could stay there for another week or even longer, as there is just so much to do on the big island, and so many adventures still waiting for me, and such a positive vibe that I haven’t found anywhere else yet.
thank you so much for taking time to read my travel diary! If you have any questions, leave them down in the comments!
it’s currently 11:25 pm and I’m up writing a blog post. Why? Because I am so stressed and I just need to vent.
This year, I began high school and it’s been a hard, but fun process. I like having a big school with different people, and a wide variety of classes and electives. I feel more free than middle school, popularity isn’t really as much of a thing as it was back then. The first semester school work was a lot, but definitely manageable, but this year I’ve had trouble getting back into my work and not feeling stressed.
Today, I had my 2nd panic attack of 2018. My panic attacks aren’t intense, they are not even that serious but it just feels like a wave crashing down on me. A flood of teachers and parents yelling, homework piling, dance corrections shouted. I usually cry during these attacks and my breathing gets heavy. I need a way to outlet this stress and deal with it. This is only freshman year, to be quite frank, if I can’t get through this year, how will I be able to balance Sophomore and Junior years. I really don’t know if I can..
Does anyone have any tips on dealing with stress, time management, and panic attacks? Sometimes I feel so mad because my parents don’t listen or understand, my teachers don’t explain themselves clearly. This anger is not healthy and often builds the wave. Sorry if this post was not in a regular format… Give me any tips and ideas you have or if you are going through a situation like this.