hey what up it’s your girl californiangirl and I’m baackkkkk! Welcome back to my blog and if you are new, welcome! We’ve all been talked about behind our backs. Bullied, put down, ignored, hurt, and betrayed. And it really does hurt and can be hard to put up with. Today, I’m going to tell you all about my “mean girl” experience and how I’m going to deal with it and move on.
If you have been reading my blog for a while, you know I’m a competitive dancer and dance nearly 15 hours each week. My dance family is pretty much my second family and I love them to death. Most of them at least. In a family, we know there is always fighting and competition and our little family is no exception. Some people don’t really realize how competitive dance is. Who gets a solo, a special part, who gets to be the lead? Who is the teachers favorite, gets the attentions and the corrections to help them succeed? Really, dance is one of the most mentally demanding and competitive sports .
Last year, me and three other girls became very close. Let’s call them Tiffany, Grace, and Chloe. We were really close and kind of made our own little group. Even though we never left people out, we had a group chat, a growing list of inside jokes, and did pretty much everything together at dance. I was already good friends with Chloe and Tiffany, but I became really close with Grace that year, even though she was new to the studio. During the spring show was when our group was the closest. I have a wall of polaroids featuring us four smiling and laughing together.
Fast forward to this school year. Over the summer, Chloe and I were not at the studio, going to other summer intensives and traveling out of the country while Tiffany and Grace stayed behind. Time to introduce a new person. I’ll call her Kelly. Kelly has been the favorite at our studio for the past couple of years. She hung out with the older, advanced girls, and was known for stabbing people in the back. She was the queen bee of our dance studio. We were kind of friends, but not super close, and only talked once in a while. During the summer Tiffany and Grace grew closer to Kelly. the first day of dance, grace completely ignored me when I tried to talk to her. Tiffany stayed pretty nice, but stuck to Grace and Kelly like glue. Now those three laughed together and left me and Chloe out. Kelly and Grace would ignore me and give me dirty looks. I got a featured role in the dance we were doing in the show, and their mean looks and isolation got even worse. i rarely talked to Grace anymore who was so close to me before. Kelly, Tiffany, and Grace walk around together in a group, acting like they are better than me, with their rude remarks, and angry stares.
I guess I might be over reacting but they hurt my feelings. Especially Grace who completely ditched me for Kelly because I wasn’t cool enough or good enough. But really, why should I care what Grace thinks? Today, I decided I don’t need Grace, or Kelly, or Tiffany’s approval, and came up with this short list to help me move on and rise above these girls who have been so rude to me. I need to be the bigger person.
- don’t fight fire with fire. even if it’s hard, trying not to put even more fire into this situation. Instead, kill em with kindness. be nice in a genuine way, maybe they will realize all you want is friendship with them.
- tell the people how you feel. As someone who likes to keep all my emotions inside of me, i’m going to work on confronting the mean girls in a respectful calm way, and tell them how I feel.
- put down your thoughts. If you are not ready to confront your bullies, try writing out your experiences like I am doing now. It really helps, trust me.
- don’t be defensive. As an extremely defensive person this is hard for me. Try to see their point of view, why they are acting this way towards you. Maybe you did something to cause them to dislike you.
- have your space. Avoid these people if you are having a bad day or don’t want to deal with them. Instead, spend time with people you love and trust.
- don’t react. If you react to the mean comments, your bully will see it as encouragement to keep going. hold in your thoughts and let their remarks bounce back
- move on. Why should their opinions matter, take a breath and put your head up high princess!
thank you for reading! It’s night time for me since its 12:30 am…