Welcome back to my blog. I haven’t been posting much recently because of the overload of craziness swirling around me. This post is something very personal to me. I hope you all respect that. Feel free to share your stories with me in the comments or by email.
Yesterday, I stepped on the scale for the first time in months. I always have dreaded this moment. I’m not over-weight by any means and am considered skinny in this society, but I always have had this pressure to stay very skinny and to not gain any weight. I think it might come from all the ballet classes and many times I’ve spent staring at myself in the mirror in only a skin-tight leotard and tights. I gained weight. Not much, only a couple of pounds, but enough to make me feel bad about my body for the rest of the day.
The thing is, every time I step on the scale, I get depressed, no matter how much I gained. And how do I cope with that? Snacks. It’s really ironic that after I find I out I gained weight, I swallow down tons of snacks. The snacks result in stomachaches and I feel bad all over again.
Later in the day, during ballet, I looked at the mirror, seeing my long, not so lean legs, blooming breasts, too-broad shoulders, too long arms, and widening hips. I’m at the stage where I’m still growing. My body is still developing into the women’s body it will soon become.
The more I thought about it, I realized to stop being so hard on myself and body. It’s normal to gain weight as a teenager. I’m growing.
My body is still developing into the women’s body it will soon become.
I looked back in the mirror but instead of looking at what was wrong, I looked at myself in a different light. I studied by long, bulging-with-muscle legs, my broad and beautiful shoulders, my delicate and lean arms, and my now widened hips, showing that I was a strong woman. I looked at my beautiful body in the mirror. I took a deep breath and went back to doing the barre exercises.
I got home later that night and began a pact. With myself. I know. It’s kind of sad.
1. Don’t weight yourself as often
2. Don’t feel bad about your weight
3. Eat more clean
4. Reward yourself once a week to something good
Eating clean? What does that mean? It means to eat only things from nature. So goodbye Goldfish, Mint Chip Ice Cream, Girl Scout Cookies, and over processed salami. It would be hard, but I knew it would make me feel better. I’ve been getting stomachaches from eating too many snacks so I hope clean eating will make me feel better in that way as well.
And I want to have rewards too. If I eat nothing processed for a week, then I’ll eat a scoop of ice cream. If I worked out once a week, I’ll treat myself to an at home spa day. These reward check points will help me push through hard weeks.
So lesson learned?
I need to realize I’m growing and I’m going to gain weight. The only thing I can do is eat better and love my body.
share your story in the comments or by emailing me