why I QUIT my dance team.

hi readers,

Today I’m going to tell y’all about my experience dancing competitively and why I decided to finally quit. It’s been a long journey and I can’t wait to share.

Dance has always been such a huge part of my life. I’ve danced since I was four years old and grew up wearing tutus and tights, dreaming of being a ballerina in a big company. In six grade, my passion peaked, me going to another studio in addition to my home studio to start pointe work and also the year I started dance team. It was my home studio’s first time having a competitive program and I joined it, making it on the mini team. That first year was golden. I was in one dance, a sweet lyrical piece and it wasn’t hectic or even that much commitment, while I still got the “team experience.” Since it was just year one I wasn’t super close with the girls but I started to make friends. There was zero drama because there were only group dances, no solos, duets etc, and they were small groups so everyone felt included and important in each dance.

Year 2, I quit the other studio and focused more on team. Now I was in two dances, a small team and line dance. That was also the year I started my blog and started to post on this blog about my experiences. I’ll link some of my dance posts at the end. Anyway there started to be a tad bit of competitiveness building up as in our dance, there seemed to be some more featured moments and I started to feel like I was sinking into the background. In line there were leads and I wasn’t one of them. I started to feel badly about myself.

Year 3, I was barely cast in any pieces compared to my friends. I was sad since I was in no small groups but was uplifted since I was a lead in line team. Finally I wasn’t just one of the kids in the back. By then I was growing closer to my teammates. I really enjoyed the “team” part of team as I felt like I had a friend group. I looked forward to dance every day. This was also the year that this girl “M” was getting the most featured. Since the first year she was already the teacher’s favorite but this year… oh my goodness. She was in a duet with my friend “A” There was a very specific and strict rule that only fi you were a junior or older, then you could compete a solo. No exceptions. But when “A” had to leave because of her anxiety, our teacher let “M” compete a solo at age 12. This was a huge controversy as our teacher just broke her own rule. “M” was an exception, she was special, and above us. She had a solo. Our teacher began to brag as she won at numerous competitions even lying on social media that she won first when she really won second, to a folk dance (,our teacher said folk dance was not an actual type of dance *eye roll).  This favoritism made team less enjoyable. Our teacher also made a new rule that if you get a scholarship at a convention you get a solo no matter the age.”M” was the only one in our division to get a scholarship. Many girls cried because even though they tried their best, they didn’t get noticed. and while I was working hard, it seemed like all the attention was on M. I kind of knew I wouldn’t get a scholarship so wasn’t too affected because I got a call back during the audition so I felt happy that I was somehow noticed though not completely.

Then this year. I was in a small group dance, large group, duet, and got thrown into a trio last-minute. This was when all the drama really happened. The pain and sadness broke out into a terrible moment and I almost decided to quit dance completely. But let’s go back. The small group dance was contemporary number that I hated from the start. Why? because “M” was clearly the lead. The rest of us stood in the back doing gestures while “M” got to turn and leap and roll. This dance made me so angry because I knew I could do all the things she did, I was just not given the opportunity. It was all about “M” once again and it really annoyed me. I was just a background dancer in the shadows of her.

I was also thrown into a trio last-minute after a girl got kicked off. This lyrical trio strongly featured me and I worked hard on it. We competed against “M”‘s duet with a girl named “S.” And we beat them to everyone, including our teacher’s surprise. We beat the stars and the favorite. But instead of people congratulating us, people didn’t really mention it. It was like everyone refused to believe that “M” could be beaten. Fast forward to our last competition. Our teacher put “M”‘s duet in the highest division, Advanced, and our trio into the lowest “Novice.” This made me so mad since we beat them and I worked just as hard as them, yet she thought were still much below them. I approached her about it and she just gave me excuse after excuse. I realized she just didn’t believe in us. This was so discouraging. So discouraging. (BTW: the trio got 1st place and the duet got 4th, out of 4 people). The feeling that our own teacher didn’t believe in us and expect us to do well made me feel worthless and beaten down.

The scholarship=solo rule still was put into play and this year I really wanted a scholarship. I worked the hardest I’d ever worked. Yet I still didn’t get a scholarship. But “M” did, and so did some of my other friends this time. I went home crying, the longest and most terrible cry I had ever had. I sobbed the whole way home feeling like a loser and terrible dancer. I was done with dance. I thought everyone wasn’t worth it, that I would never win or succeed.

The bad experience I had this year along with school commitments and the crazy amount of money competitive dance takes, caused me to quit. This was no easy decision as I was so close with all the girls and I truly will miss the team bonding, cheering, and competition memories. I know I will feel left out as the girls wear their team jackets and start to make inside jokes without me. But it was the right choice. I look back on these years and the pain, anger, and sadness I felt. I felt beaten down and worthless from my competitive experience and extreme favoritism. I felt that my hard work was for nothing, that my teacher didn’t care for me. I wasted several hours practicing for a dance that I was a mere background dancer for. I almost quit dance because of one convention, a supposedly fun and enjoyable learning experience. My passion was destroyed because of team.

I think if you aren’t happy somewhere then you just need to leave or at  least take a break. And that’s exactly what I did. When I emailed my dance teacher saying I wouldn’t be back next season, you don’t understand how FREE I felt. As free as a bird. I will continue to dance and work hard because even though I’m not competing I will still strive to be the best I can be.
Thanks for reading,

californiangirl

some dance posts:

Rainbow Dance Competition… what a weekend

JUMP Convention part 1- Friday

The Dance Winter Performance//my experience

KAR DANCE COMPETITION: a tough start to the competition season

dealing with failure//wanting to quit dance?

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Five Lessons I’ve Learned from Freshman Year of High School

hi readers

Wow it’s been a while. Yep a couple of months off this blog and I’m finally back! School, which has sucked up sooo much of my time finally got out, and it’s finally sweet sweet summer meaning I get to update on this blog much more. I’m excited about the new posts I’ll be doing and being able to update y’all more about my life, adventures, and the insight I’ve gotten out of my crazy world. This year was my freshman year of high school and it was definitely an adventure. I feel like I’ve changed so much and grown from all the experiences both stressful and exciting throughout the year. here are some of the lessons I’ve taken out from this year that hopefully will help all of you incoming freshman and those who are still in high school right now, finding your place in the world:

 

row of books in shelf

1. making friends may be hard at first but if you are genuine and kind, people will want to be friends with you.

As a shy person, I was excited to try to break out of my shell this year and make new friends. In the beginning of the year, I tried too hard to be this trendy outgoing person and it… got me nowhere. After a while, I realized making friends doesn’t mean being a new person. I started being more bubbly yet laid back, and started my iconic thing of hugging everyone and using the word “cackle.” I’m so happy to say that I’ve made so many friends of all different friend groups. I’m not the most popular girl in the school but I have made so many friends that I love so much! So lesson: be yourself (and also friendly) and the friends will come!

2. You will fail (and that’s ok)

High school has downs and ups. As a perfectionist it took a while to realize doing awful on a test, messing up on something important, etc is bound to happen. No matter how hard to try you will fail. And that’s ok. Getting a C on your math test isn’t the end of the world. This year I struggled a lot with math. High school math moved faster and the teacher wasn’t great and understanding like my middle school teachers. I bombed a couple tests, which left me feeling terrible but I made it out of the class, getting one of the highest score on the final in the class! The failures on my math tests motivated me to work harder and it paid off. Failing isn’t the end of the world, you’ll live from one F on a test.

3. Don’t judge someone before you meet them

There’s a girl who has a reputation for being a fake b*tch. That’s the only way I can put it, lol didn’t mean to be so harsh. So because of others’ opinions, I tried to stay away from her. But I ended up befriending her and realized all those rumors are definitely untrue. She is so sweet and kind. So don’t judge people. BE OPEN. Get to know someone before you listen to the gossip!

4. Take a chance, you might surprise yourself

This year, I almost did not try out for ASB (associate student body) or pretty much the team of people who run all the events of the school. I knew that it was extremely hard to get into ASB as there was a two round interview process, a length application form, and to be honest I just thought I wasn’t going to make it in. Out fo the 100+ applicants only about 20-30 are accepted each year. The other people applying were more outgoing, exciting and experienced… I thought. But I decided to try-the best choice in my life. I made round 1, then was accepted in as a new member of Human Relations, my top choice commission. I’m so excited to work on new projects such as a school garden, more dogs in the quad, save the bees, and helping students who are struggling financially!

5. Don’t be afraid to try something new

Don’t be afraid to try a new club, meet a new friend, explore a new class in depth. Go outside of your comfort zone. You only get to go through high school once so why not make the best of it. Freshman year is a great time to try a little bit of everything on campus and find yourself and your passions. Make it through high school with absolutely no regrets.

 

Thank you for reading!

-californiangirl

 

 

my fashion wishlist!!

hi readers,

Okay so just realized that I haven’t been shopping in THE LONGEST TIME EVER. My wardrobe is seriously outdated and not really what I want my style to be like. I feel like I used to have a preppy, classy look but I’m totally digging the retro, chill, hipster look right now. So this month, I’m going to go shopping and hopefully get some new clothing items. Here are some things I definitely want to add to my closet.

1. oversized corduroy jacket

These are super cute and have such a nice vibe if that makes sense. I also need more cute jackets and outerwear since, even though it’s spring, the weather is still pretty chilly. A corduroy jacket is a cute alternative to the more basic denim jacket.

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2. vintage jeans

I need some new jeans. Some comfortable thrifted jeans are definetly on my wishlist since I’m trying to go for a more “hipster” vibe. All of my jeans are really tight and polished so I want to change them up with faded, looser jeans.Womens Clothes LEVIS 560 loose fit tapered leg faded jeans size W33 L32 PFLTJKPNWM.jpg

3. bright windbreaker

Because of the warmish spring weather, a cute windbreaker is definitely on my wishlist. To spice it up, one with bright colors would be super rad to rock over a plain top and leggings

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4. collared shirts

Okay even though I said I would be moving away from the preppy look, I still love collared shirts because they are so classy and versatile. They would great under a comfy sweater, out on top of white jeans, and even this awesome cropped one over a skirt or shorts.

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5. vintage tees

Now that summer is approaching, it’s time for tee shirts. I’m super excited to go to a thrift  shop and see what crazy, vintage stuff I find.

 

That’s it for my fashion wish list! Le me know what things you want to add to YOUR wish list in the comments below!

xoxo,

californiangirl

dealing with failure//wanting to quit dance?

hi readers,

Last weekend I went to Velocity Dance Convention, which almost made me want to quit dance. Wait let me slow down for a second, a dance convention is where you take classes by master teachers the whole weekend. They are supposed to be a fun learning experience, where you can learn other styles you aren’t used to and take from amazing choreographers. But there is one part of the convention that isn’t so fun: the audition. Most conventions, including Velocity have an audition. You learn a combination and perform it in small groups in front of some teachers. If you do well, you get a callback and are usually awarded a scholarship to their convention next year.

I’ve never gotten a scholarship before, but received a callback last year. I went into this year excited, hoping i would be able to get another callback and get a scholarship. There was extra pressure since our teacher said that who ever got a scholarship would also be awarded a solo at our studio next year for competition. With those stakes raised, everyone was extra nervous. Including me. I worked so hard in every class and when the audition came, I was the most focused I’ve ever been, listening to every word the teacher said, practicing on the side. I was confident and thought I did well when it came to the audition, feeling like the teachers were looking at me. I stood proudly as they began to call out the numbers for callbacks. They started talking, number 103, 106, 109, 120, 132.. I spaced out for a second and before I knew it I heard 267, a girl from my studio’s number. I looked down at my number 265. I will never truly know if they called my number or not, but I am pretty sure they did not.

Flash forward to the presentation of scholarships. That girl who got a callback got a scholarship. One of my best friends got a ballet evolving artists scholarship, which made me confused and upset since I worked so hard in ballet and thought it was my strongest style. Some of my younger friends who I knew didn’t work as hard or put in as much time as me got scholarships. I walked to the car with my mom and once we were inside, I let it all out. the anger, pain, and disappointment.

I cried the whole car ride back and didn’t stop until I laid in my bed for an hour sobbing.

I felt like a loser, not good enough. Even though I tried my best I got nothing. Was it worth all the normal life experiences I’ve missed, all the sweat and pain and injuries? Was dance worth it when I couldn’t even get a scholarship?

I woke up the next day with a sprained back. Because of this injury I couldn’t go to dance and had time to reflect. And I realized 3 things:  1. I really wanted to go back to dance. I missed it. I realized that I loved dance.  2. I also realized that this scholarship was just an opinion. those teachers didn’t know the hard work I was constantly put in, the countless problems I had that I had to overcome. they only had a brief look at me which was not enough to judge my dancing ability and work ethic. The scholarships really were just an opinion.  3. I also realized I needed to work hard and show my teachers that even though I didn’t get a scholarship, I’m still a great dancer and can still be better than  some of the scholarship winners. I need to keep working hard because eventually someone will notice me, through an audition or elsewhere.

Once I recover from my injury I’m going to get back on my feet and show that even though I didn’t get a scholarship I can still be the best dancer that I can be and show perseverance. Maybe it’s time to cut down on dance since I will never be able to become a professional but I love it. And I always will.

 

Well that was a long rant/storytime but thanks for reading! Also, since it’s spring break, expect another post or two coming your way!!

xoxo,

californiangirl

 

 

my daily body and skincare routine//my favorite products

hi readers,

It’s californiangirl back with a new post! Today I wanted to share with you’ll my updated body/skin routine, aka some of my favorite skin care products and how to use them. I have medium oily, combination skin, that doesn’t break out too often but can sometimes. Here is my daily body and skin routine!

 

FOR THE FACE

1. grapefruit oil free acne wash by neturogena

I love this face wash because it first of all smells delicious and wakes me up, and two it is really refreshing and helps tone down my oily skin and prevent breakouts!

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2. cetaphil moisturizer

Next thing you gotta do is moisturize. My favorite one is the cetaphil moisturizer because it is super-duper light but also moisturizing. I don’t like the moisturizers that are super heavy for my oily skin so this one is perfect for my skin and keeping me moisturized

3. mario badescu facial spray

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This is my favorite facial spray of all times and it keeps me and my skin refreshed! I think I’ve mentioned this before on my blog showing how much I love and appreciate this product.

4. ocean salt facial and body scrub/mask

Once a week I will use the product Ocean Salt from Lush to exfoliate my skin. This product is kind of rough on my face so I can only use it once a week. It kind of stings for me since I have sensitive skin but it really helps exfoliate and smells good too. I also do a mask once a week. There is this charcoal mask I’ve been loving from Organik Botanik, (you can pick this up from Marshalls/TJ Max) and I also love cupcake from Lush.

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FOR THE BODY

Now onto what I use for my body! I have a bit of bacne (Back Acne) but have pretty “normal” skin. These are the products I use to keep my body moisturized and feelin nice.

1. soap and glory body wash

OMG I love this body wash so so so much! It smells delicious and also is super moisturizing. Afterwards I sometimes don’t even use a body moisturizer since it has a built in lotion and makes my skin so soft!tumblr_mbrhvpRC0P1r2y12r.jpg

*Quick Tip: for my bacne, I put this on a loofah and make large suds as well as exfoliate my back with it!*

2. rose jam shower gel

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Another one of my favorite body washes that I am currently using quite a bit is Rose Jam from Lush, which smells absolutely delectable, like honey and roses. This is a bit pricey, but totally worth it in my opinion. Also it is a thick texture, a little goes a long way when using it.

3. Ro’s Argan Body Conditioner

Also from Lush and sharing the same scent of Rose Jam, this is something a little bit different. It’s a body conditioner, used the same way as a hair conditioner but on your body. Put a thin layer all over your body, then gently rinse off. I use this with Rose Jam as a special treat as it leaves me not only smelling amazing but also my skin silky smooth.

4. aloe vera

If my skin is feeling nasty and dry (i.e.: I’m sunburnt) I love using Aloe Vera gel to heal it. This feels really cooling and great for creating more refreshed skin.

5. soap and glory body lotionsoap-glory-righteous-butter-890.jpgSharing the same scent as its body wash counterpart, this lotion is so moisturizing and absolutely amazing! I love it so much and use after my shower for smoothing my skin!

 

And that’s my skincare routine! I hope you enjoyed this post and please let me know in the comments what skincare products you’ve been digging this month!

xoxo,

calforniangirl

 

These Songs are my Jam: march playlist 2018!!

Dear Readers,

Happy March! Today is March 4, and I’m going to start a new section of my blog, my playlists for each month, all the songs I’ve been jammin’ to recently and that maybe you’ll enjoy too. I know a ton of YouTubers do this as well as they drive around and whatever so I decided to give it a try. So let’s just get into the playlist!

On spotify, recently I have started to make playlists for each month. This month is “march moves n grooves.” I really like doing this because it can show the development in your music taste and what you have been enjoying recently. A lot of these songs are from February playlist “february fun times” since the month has just started and I usually add songs throughout the month. I guess this is technically not my “march playlist” and more of my march+february+whateverelseI’mlisteningto playlist

 

  1. Breathe Me by Sia
    I love this song a lot at this moment, we were warming up to this during dance and OMG it was my jam. This song makes me feel like a rock star which you might not get when you listen to the beginning but there are some parts have these drums in the back and they are my jam.https://open.spotify.com/track/7jqzZyJJLrpkRFYGpkqSK6
  2. COPYCAT by Billie Ellish, Sofi Turkker remix
    Ya girl has just jumped on the Billie Ellish train. I’ve heard about her and her amazing music for a long time but just started listening. This is kind of a darker song of hers and this remix is my favorite. At first I just accidentally clicked on this remix trying to find the original song but I really dig it.https://open.spotify.com/track/2njUxZ4151DWIrfIK3loFj
  3. Clumsy by Fergie
    This song is throwing it back to the early 2000s and has a nice techno vibe and a cute little bop (that probably made no sense lol). This song is also a vine which makes it even better, but I actually really like this song.https://open.spotify.com/track/50xeLNGKmskmYUSINhqvfa
  4. watch by Billie Ellish
    Another one of Billie Ellish’s songs on my list. This is the first B. E. song that I’ve ever listened too and what made me fall in love with her music. This song just makes me want to dance. And not like jam in the car dance, but like DANCE in an empty room, by myself and just move. I definitely recommend you listen to this, it’s one of my favorites on this playlist.https://open.spotify.com/track/7eB1V5LvAdxCc7brfGhRRo
  5. Obsession by Vice ft Jon BellionThis song makes me happy. Like really happy. This is one of those songs you can jam to in your car, bopping your head and waving your arms. And it’s impossible to listen to this song without smiling. Such an unlifting song that has a unique vibe.https://open.spotify.com/track/5pvVAwQbuFoR7LkcicrKnk 
  6. ur phone by boy pablo
    I found this song through emma chamberlain (oh btw shes such a queen please watch her vlogs!!). To be honest i feel like Emma’s taste in music usually does not line up with mine, but I actually like this song. It just makes me feel like I’m on a road trip and just driving by myself somewhere in the middle of nowhere passing by golden fields of weeds and cows. I don’t know, just a thought.
    https://open.spotify.com/track/1sdW5wGFuUB0A93EN7BhaL
  7. Dream A Little Dream of Me by The Mamas & PapasI love this song so much. Another oldie but goodie that you got to check out. If it sounds familiar, it is because it was in a winter Olympic ad this year I think.
    https://open.spotify.com/track/7ytqdjooPEAa97QSu6NUHS
  8. Prune, You Talk Funny by Gus Dapperton
    This song makes me feel like such a hipster. Like actually. It’s like I’m in one of those grainy movies and in one of those driving scenes, peacefully just chillin on the road by myself. (idk why, but a lot of songs remind me of road trips.) This song also has an old fashion vibrant vibe which I totally love!
    https://open.spotify.com/track/4a6r6d9mfcUQbOnrGf8jAV

 

Thank you so much for reading and I hope you enjoyed this post! Comment down below what your favorite songs are at the moment because I need to add more songs to my march playlist!

 

xoxo,

calforniangirl

KAR DANCE COMPETITION: a tough start to the competition season

Dear Readers:

 

Hi, it’s been a while since we’ve caught up! Last weekend was the first competition of the competitive season at my dance studio, KAR dance competition. In the past, we have competed there and often done pretty well. Here’s last years post about this competition if you want to see how my experience was like in the previous season. This year was also a pretty crazy season, with the most pieces competed before from our studio, someone getting kicked off team (and me having to step in to their place), duets and trios, and a new image for our studio under a new artistic director. There is a lot riding on this season and since we did well in the past at KAR, we were excited for this competition. However, strong studios and talented dancers made this our hardest and most eye opening competition ever.

day 1 

Out of the four dances I competed in, saturday had three of them in it, my pointe duet, lyrical trio, and contemporary small group piece. I had to get up bright and early (6:00AM) to show up at the studio for a full ballet warm up. We did a run through of the pieces and then got ready to leave for the competition. At the venue, my teachers talked to the directors to change the order of go since I only had ten minutes in between my duet and trio, and trio was first, and my teachers thought I would be more comfortable doing pointe work before. I was nervous since it was my first time performing a duet or trio in a competitive setting, would the judges like my pieces, would I mess up?

I got into my satin pointe shoes, and white delicate ballet costume and began warming up. I was really nervous at that point(e) (haha get it<- ) (okay I’ll stop) and started to doubt all the training and effort I had already put in. Our number was called and before I knew it I was called on stage. It wasn’t the best run. I was really tense and while getting all the steps right, I didn’t feel like I enjoyed the dance. To be honest, I just wanted to get through it without falling or messing up. I don’t think i did bad, but it wasn’t the most artistic performance I could have done.

Next I got changed for trio really fast and when that happened, I found out my costume was too big! My skirt, which was supposed to fit right over my belly button, slip down to my hips! My teacher frantically tried to figure something out until she decided to just screw it and I went out to dance. This felt like a good run. After a girl got kicked off of team in december, I was set to be put in her place. It was a last minute change and our teacher put in the least amount of hours to our piece, just hoping things would work out. Our performance wasn’t perfect, far from it, but all three of us did our best and all we were given and I felt powerful afterwards, floating above the stage as I finished and walked off.

Now it was awards. The duet and trio were competing against each other which meant I was technically competing against myself. We were also competing against a contemporary duet from our studio with the two favorites and the strongest dancers in our age group. After the excitement died down and overalls began being announced. Our teacher whispered to us, “Girls let’s go, you did not place, I know your scores were not high enough.” All three sets of the duet trios looked at each other in surprise and disappointment, we thought at least one of us would place and this was a shock. It see worked so hard and got nothing. We walked off stage quietly with our teacher, probably looking like terrible sports and went backstage. I prayed something weird would happen and one of us actually would place, but it never happen. Sometimes your best isn’t good enough, I remembered my ballet teacher telling me earlier. I heard those words repeated in my head and sighed, there’s a big world out there with so many amazing people.

After that disappointing morning, I changed into my next costume, a Hamilton-esque costume. Our dance is to the song Run Boy Run, and about breaking free from society. We are wearing red-coat like costumes and I have to say, I think it looks sick and really different from the classic lyrical and sassy jazz competition judges are used to seeing. We ate lunch and got ready to to onstage. I took a breath and got ready to perform. I felt grounded and let go of expectations and the stress. It was my third performance so I didn’t have the nervousness and the fear, I just wanted to dance.

Afterwards, it felt so good. I felt refreshed and happy. Awards came along and we didn’t expect much after the awards this morning. Then, our name was called! Fourth Overall! And a judges choice award for fierceness! Proud, and satisfied I went home, after watching some amazing soloists, getting inspired by the raw talent and hard work I could see. The cool thing about dance is even though it’s only a couple minutes of a performance, you can see the detail and hard work that went into it if you look closely enough. That’s what i love about watching dance, you can see the effortlessness on stage, but also all the hours spent in the studio, conjoined into a brilliant show. I went home and got ready for the next day, I would only be in one piece which meant a more relaxing, calmer day.

day 2

I woke up early-ish, around 8:30 which doesn’t seem that early I guess to some, but it’s a sight to see me up before 9 on weekends. I did my make up and went to the studio to get my hair braided and done for the performance I had today. The teacher was being extra hard on all of us. After seeing the competition, I could tell she was nervous and stressed that we wouldn’t be able to place again like the duets and trios the previous morning. I too was a little worried and I could sense the energy around me was similar.

We got to the competition and went to the corner where we kept our stuff in the dressing room yesterday. Some moms from our studio were their since when doors opened up at eight so we got the tiny corner for ourselves. All of a sudden one of the other teams racks fell down. It thudded to the floor, sparkly costumes falling to the ground. A mom from that team glared at us, “You’re breaking our stuff.” We were taken back, we hadn’t touched the rack or expected such aggressiveness from a mom. But we knew better than to talk back, we all mumbled sorrys but it wasn’t enough. “You know you can’t save spots. Our team was here first.” This was the first time a fight, even one as small as this happened at a dance competition. we bit back our tongues even though we want dot yell back that we’ve been here all morning. That we were taking up about 1/8 of what your studio is taking up. That she shouldn’t pick on kids like us. But we were silent and luckily were moved to a roomy dressing room, just for us!

We changed into matching tee shirts and jeans. Our dance, to the song Castle on the Hill, is about coming home. As a play on words, our teacher thought of homecoming, and put us all in street clothes and varsity jackets. The jackets don’t come on until the last half when we all unite. This dance is a large group so it’s a bigger dance than the ones before. Since there are more people it’s easier to hid if you make a mistake so i wasn’t as scared as before my duet. But, I still knew I had to try my best and when i stepped onto the stage, I put away all the anxiety and tiredness and transformed into a preppy girl, returning home and having fun. It was a good run, but the other dances in our category were amazing. We were not allowed to watch, as it would make us nervous, but I could hear the cheering in the audience from backstage, and heard the team before us had a huge trampoline where they would jump and flip off of. Other dances had girls who could turn over four pirouettes consistently and in sync with each other.

Awards. We weren’t expected much again and as they announced the places, we saw that many strong teams have already been called up. All of us assumed we didn’t place and sat there sadly. 5th Place. Our hopes went up. Not us. 4th Place. Our hopes went up. Not us. 3rd Place. Our hopes went up. Not–Wait, that is us! That was probably the loudest I screamed and we all ran up hugging the trophy thinking this was too good to be true. Third place in such a hard division in category was pretty unbelievable!

 

The weekend came to an end and I think I learned a lot. I learned that there is a big world out there and you will never be the best. I learned that sometimes you just need to breathe and relax. I learned to come with low expectations and go from there. But finally, I learned to have hope and faith in yourself. That the hours you put in will eventually be recognized. I have another competition next week and I’m so excited for it and hope that my next performances will be better than before.

Thanks for reading and have a great day!

xoxo,

californiangirl